Thursday, 22 June 2017

The Lessons You Need To Have Learnt After A Toxic Relationship

Even though people who have been involved in a toxic relationship are largely viewed as weak, in reality it takes a great deal of strength to endure one and even greater will to come out of it. All the pain and suffering will have gone to waste, though, if you they don’t make you a better person.

A Toxic Relationship As A Precious Life Lesson

As Nelson Mandela famously said, we don’t lose, we either win or we learn. So, even though as you come out of a toxic relationship you may see the whole thing as a total waste of time and precious energy, in reality it’s a great life lesson; an opportunity to improve. Here are some of the most serious life lessons leaving a toxic relationship gives us.

Lesson #1. You Ought To Take Care Of Yourself.

It might sound selfish and narrow-minded, but there is nothing wrong in setting your personal happiness as your number one priority. In toxic relationships, we often leave our wants and needs in the backseat either because we lose sight of them or because we don’t think we are worthy of them. Loving and respecting ourselves before anything else is the only way to a real blissful relationship.

Lesson #2. Setting Boundaries Is Important.

Take the time to count the times you could have protected yourself by setting your own boundaries. Take the time to think long and hard of the things you really can’t stand in your life, the behaviors that simply don’t go down well. Now, make sure you never forget these things. Next time around, you will build your own fortress and let your next partner know of the places they can’t enter.

Lesson #3. You Should Always Be Ready For Change.

Most of us are afraid of change, and one of the most common reasons why people stay in unhealthy relationships is that they are too reluctant to leave their (dis)comfort zone, believing that they won’t find someone better and that it’s “better the Devil you know”. Once you leave a toxic relationship, though, you learn that change is not always a bad thing; it’s necessary for improvement.

Lesson #4. Learn To Trust Your Inner Voice.

Most of the people who have left a toxic relationship say that deep inside they knew all along it was not right for them. However, they chose to silence that inner voice telling them that they were not genuinely happy because they simply didn’t trust their instincts. No matter how right a relationship might seem on paper or to the outside world, our inner voice should always be heard loud and clear.

Coming out of a toxic relationship is a hard thing to do. There will be moments when you will question yourself and your decisions, you will feel lonely and abandoned and you will miss the good moments you shared together. But you should always remember that on our life journey some people are here to stay and make us happy and others are passers-by whose role is to teach us how to improve.

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Monday, 19 June 2017

This Will Teach You How To Pic A Perfect Gift For Your Girl

Giving gifts is a habit practiced by people since forever. Sometimes offering a beautiful present to someone we love fills us with such satisfaction that it’s better than receiving one ourselves. But how do you choose the perfect gift?

This Is How You Pick The Perfect Gift

Picking an ideal gift for some special occasion, like birthdays, Valentine’s Day or an anniversary, or just because you feel like making someone happy by showing your love for them can be a tricky business. Luckily, we are here to help.

First of all, you need to take into account the kind of person you are giving the gift to. If for example, it’s an adventurous partner who likes surprises, giving her the chance to engage in an extreme activity is the perfect idea. But if it’s someone who’s more low-key and romantic, flowers and a piece of jewelry may be a safer bet.

Secondly, you should consider the status of your relationship. If you’re picking a present for a lady you have just met, giving her sexy lingerie as a present could be cause for offense. In the case of a person you met online, a virtual gift is an amazing idea, as it suits the situation ideally, especially if you live far from one another.

A third factor you should take into consideration is the receiver’s taste. If for instance, you want to buy your girl a piece of clothing, you should think in terms of her taste, not yours. If she loves pink and you’re not crazy about it, you should respect her taste and go for it anyway. If you like jazz music and she’s into rock, you should take her to a rock concert and make the effort to show her a good time. Remember that your goal when you give her a gift is, above all, to satisfy her, not yourself.

The Most Important Thing

Finally, you should remember that a gift is a token of your love and appreciation, but it cannot take the place of your actions. The way you offer someone their gift can be as important as the gift itself and how you treat them in general is what matters the most. Show the gift receiver your love through actions and words before all else – not even the perfect gift can substitute that.

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Thursday, 15 June 2017

AsianDate Reveals: Is Marriage Really A Thing Of The Past?

For many people among us, the institution of marriage seems like an outdated idea. Why bother to spend a ton of money, time and energy to have yourself legally tied with someone and promising to love each other for eternity in front of so many people, making a breakup so hard to do? That may be exactly why. AsianDate explains.

AsianDate: Why Do We Continue To Get Married?

It has been suggested that marriage was a way for women to secure themselves financially and for men to keep their women in the house in order to procreate. However, women today work as hard as men do and men are as involved in their kids’ upbringing as women. Why, then, is marriage still relevant?

To help clarify things, we draw on the wisdom of the popular School of Life, who recently posted a most enlightening video.

A Restraining Power

Using a 1960s experiment – the Marshmallow Test – which examined slow gratification, it became clear that people don’t always have the power to hold off from instant gratification even if they know there are great rewards in store if they do. Likewise, suggests the School of Life, we are not strong enough to resist temptation in the form of a new, attractive partner unless there is something stronger keeping us from giving in. This restraining power is marriage.

Too Much Embarrassment

Another idea put forward by the philosophical school is that when we put so much effort into a wedding ceremony and say our vows in front of our kith and kin, it is too much of an embarrassment to simply admit that we made a mistake, so we try to mend things and avoid separation as much as we can.

Too Much Hassle

Separation from a marriage-less relationship may be hard and painful, but it takes a hell of bureaucracy to finish a marriage. Anyone who has been through a divorce, or who happens to know someone who did, knows how costly and complicated it is. Which, of course, doesn’t stop partners who are in an unhappy marriage end it, but it does make them think twice if they are not sure they want to give up on it completely.

AsianDate hopes that everyone will find their perfect match and enjoy many happy years of marital bliss (if it’s what he/she wants) for all the reasons mentioned above, but above all, out of pure love.

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Monday, 12 June 2017

What She Means When She Says She Wants To Take Things Slow

When we meet someone and fall head over heels for her, we may feel that the only thing that matters is being with her and doing every little thing together. It is such an exciting time in any person’s relationship, but sometimes one of the two partners may decide they want to take things slow. What exactly does it mean when a girl asks you to slow down?

What Do You Do If She Wants To Take Things Slow?

People may decide they want to slow the way a relationship is going for a number of reasons. There isn’t necessarily a reason to get upset and despair if she says that’s what she wants (although sometimes there is). Here are some of the reasons she might have for it.

One reason a girl may want to slow things down is that she has rushed into a relationship previously and it didn’t work out well. If we experience a flash-in-the-pan kind of situation once, we may choose to be more cautious in our next relationship to avoid the same thing happening again. Understand her reasons and allow her to take stock of things before you move forward.

Another reason why she may not want to give it her all from the start is that she may know her own character well enough to know she’s the kind of person who gets carried away easily. In this instance, she may be trying to do the right thing by you, trying to make sure her feelings are deep and genuine and not just lust and excitement for a new romance. Give her the time and space she needs to make sure she really does have feelings for you, saving yourself from future hurt too.

On the other hand, she could be more reluctant to move on as fast as you are willing to for fear of being ghosted. It may be that she is coming from a hurtful online flirting experience where she expressed her feelings openly and fell victim to ghosting. In this case, she will opt for a calmer, more relaxed kind of relationship where she will only express her true emotions when she feels secure enough in what you have. If you’re genuinely interested in her, you should respect her decision and subtly show her she is safe with you, so that she will seek to see/ hear more of you as she feels safer and safer.

The Worst-Case Scenarios

A fourth, less hopeful, reason she may have asked you to take things slow is that she is very unsure about the way she feels. Maybe you are more invested in the relationship that she wants to be and this is scaring her away. If this is the case, she could be after a situationship with you, not a real relationship.

Even worse, she may be trying to let you down gently by cooling things off and then distancing herself little by little as she does not have the guts to openly tell you she’s no longer interested in a relationship with you.

If you fear that the latter is the case, it’s a good idea to have the talk with her and clear the air. Be prepared to end things if the answers you get are not as pleasant as you may wish for them to be. In any case, there is no reason to waste your time trying to figure things out without discussing where you stand with her.

Whatever the reason a girl might ask you to take things slow, you can only respect her decision and, depending on why she has made it, either give your relationship some air to breathe or finish things and move on to something new and better.

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Thursday, 8 June 2017

This is How You’ll Know Your Dating Partner Isn’t Ready To Commit

People are not the same. We don’t have the same tastes, we don’t love or despise the same things, we don’t share the same experiences or view life in the same way and, most crucially, we are not in the same stages in our lives. While this is generally not a bad thing, when it comes to your dating partner it’s a prerequisite for both to be ready to commit if you want to move forward.

Are You And Your Dating Partner On The Same Page?

So, you’ve dated for some time and things seem to be going well between you two. You feel like being around her is easy and spend a great part of your day talking to her, thinking about her, and planning on moving on and into a relationship. If you’re unsure whether she is ready for it too, that’s because you’ve probably noticed one (or all?) of the following behaviors.

She only seems to care about having a good time. Don’t get us wrong, who doesn’t like a good time? But there’s a certain red flag waving in front of your eyes when she pays zero attention to how you’re feeling about things when it comes to her enjoyment. If, for example, you’re exhausted after a tough day at work and she refuses to cancel your dinner date, she is clearly not ready to sacrifice much for you.

She refuses to discuss your future seriously. Do your plans together go so far as next week? A person who’s not ready to commit to a relationship will most probably avoid the mere thought of making long-term plans. If she can’t bring herself to commit to a cinema date next Sunday, she sure as Hell can’t commit to a serious relationship.

She has never been in a serious relationship before. Maybe it’s a coincidence, maybe it isn’t. If all her relationships don’t go past a few weeks or months of dating, it is possible she is a commitment-phobe. Don’t be afraid to talk about it with her; it may prove to be an eye-opening conversation.

She often mentions her other options. A person who presents their other options to their partner is clearly someone who suffers from low self-esteem. It is possible, however, that they are also in the habit of mentioning them constantly because they like to remind themselves of them too. This latter explanation is a sign that she is not ready to commit to just one person and would rather keep her options open and be free to pursue them if she wishes to.

If you feel like you want to move on with your life and your dating partner isn’t ready to follow, you may want to ask her openly how she feels and if she sees potential in your relationship. Be prepared to receive a reply that might not please you, though. Either way, being clear about your intentions and hers is a good idea, as it will allow you to make better decisions about your future.

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